


You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs (Or Maybe Just One)

by orphan_account



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Frog Prince AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-15 02:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4590216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy thought he was just going to have a regular day of fishing at the lake by his village and helping out his mum. After all, nothing ever happens to him. He's nobody. He never could have guessed he'd meet a talking Frog, go on an adventure, meet two Wizards (one good, one not), make a new friend, almost talk to a Princess, get thrown in jail, kiss the talking Frog, fall in True Love, and have a Wish Granted (even though no Wizard had ever Heard it).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the delightful [theartsypumpkin](http://theartsypumpkin.tumblr.com) for creating the beautiful art for this story, which appears in Chapter Six (and also [ here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4646799) on Ao3). You were a joy to work with, my dear!
> 
> Title taken from the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a handsome prince."

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a King, who ruled a small but thriving kingdom. He was a good King, brave and kind and clever; beloved by all his people. They spoke with pride of him, of his great deeds and his fierceness in battle, of his regal bearing and handsome features. “Now that's a King,” they'd say to one another, waving to him and shouting his name, strewing flowers in the road as he passed by. “Our King is everything a King should be,” and they gave no thought to the fact that their King had no Queen or Prince Consort. After all, they said, it is only right that a King's first duty is to his land and his people. Our King is ensuring that our land is prosperous before he takes a thought for his own happiness. Just as a King ought.

However, as the years passed, and the land settled into peace and prosperity, the people began to wonder why their King continued to take no spouse. A King needs a Queen or a Prince Consort! It is completely acceptable that he was alone while the needs of the kingdom were at the forefront of his duties, but now that the land was safe, the King should look to his future! What was he waiting for? Surely a King such as theirs would have no trouble securing the hand of some Lord or Lady. And they began to murmur among themselves, wondering what it was that kept their great King from marrying.

Many members of the King's Council would never want to admit to having anything in common with the King's people (unlike the King, his Council was not always good or kind, but they were more than often wise, so they proved useful enough), but on the matter of the King's unmarried state, they were in complete agreement. The Council often notified the King that some country or other had an unmarried Prince, or a Lady of the Court was recently come of age and would make an exceptional Queen, does His Majesty not agree that she looks well today?

Despite the continued pressure from his Council, the King stubbornly refused to marry any of the Lords or Ladies of the Court or the neighboring kingdoms. “If you are so eager for an alliance with them,” he told them, his voice brooking no arguments, “offer to wed them yourselves. I will not marry anyone but my True Love.”

Some of his Council scoffed at their king's fanciful insistence. He had been declaring this since his coming-of-age more than thirty years ago!  A True Love? Why, not one man in a hundred was lucky enough to find his True Love! Insisting on marrying none but your True Love was a declaration well enough indulged for a boy of eighteen, but certainly not a man of fifty! Their King would remain unmarried until the day he died, they grumbled to each other, and then the Council would have quite the trouble finding their way around the royal family's tangled tree to discover their King's heir.

What his Council did not know was that, when he was just a young Prince, the King had sneaked away from the Palace, found a Wizard and made a Wish (and, as everyone knows, a Wish, once Voiced by the Wisher and Heard by a Wizard, will always come true—though depending on the temperament of the Wizard, it might not be in quite the way the Wisher imagined).

* * *

 

_The bright-eyed young Prince in his oversized cloak--borrowed from a stable boy--had Wished that he would grow up and marry his True Love. The Wizard had smiled down at him and said, “Your Wish will be Granted, young Prince, though you will have to be patient and wait many years for them to come to you.”_

_“How will I know them?” asked the Prince, uncaring in his desperation that the Wizard had seen through his paltry disguise. “For I cannot simply kiss everyone I meet in hope of it being True Love's Kiss.”_

_The Wizard laughed. “That you cannot, Your Highness,” he replied. “But know this: True Love is not found at first sight, no matter what the tales might tell you. You will meet them, and be drawn to them, and you will face adversity together. Your smile will lighten their heart and their laugh will bring you joy. It is then you will know you have found your True Love.”_

_The Prince nodded thoughtfully, thanked the Wizard for his time, and slipped back to the Palace, warm in the knowledge that he had a True Love and would marry them one day._

 

* * *

 

And so, even as the years passed and some part of the King started to lose hope, his heart never wavered. He'd Wished it. Wishes _always_ came true. So he waited, and waited, and _waited_ , for his True Love to find him.

 

* * *

 

In this same land, about three days' walk from the King's Palace, lived a young man named Gary, although no one ever called him that. He instead went by the name 'Eggsy,' and had done for so long that very few even remembered that it wasn't his actual name.

Eggsy's life was not a happy one, but he always strove to keep his spirits up. He was a charming lad, with a wide dimpled smile and shining green eyes, and he could often be heard whistling or singing a cheerful ditty as he helped his mother to the Market or sat fishing along the Lake.

His father, a minor Knight of little consequence, had died long ago, when Eggsy was small, and his mother, who'd loved her husband deeply, had been inconsolable for years. Eventually, she'd remarried, and Eggsy's stepfather was, as many stepparents in tales such as this are, a cruel and ruthless man, who treated Eggsy and his mother terribly.

Eggsy often dreamed of running away and becoming a Knight like his father, but he knew that if he ever left, his stepfather would take out his anger on Eggsy's mother, and Eggsy could not let that happen. So he stayed, and kept his mouth shut—well, most of the time—and did what his stepfather told him to do—most of the time—and Eggsy's mother, and later, his baby sister, stayed unharmed.

Well, most of the time.

Eggsy sometimes thought about finding a Wizard to cast a spell on his stepfather, as often happened in the tales of old, that he’d heard at the knee of an old man in the village. But he knew that the heroes of such tales were Princes and Kings and Knights, who used Magic to help them save their kingdoms or a Princess, with whom they'd then fall in True Love. Eggsy had never heard a story about a brave hero who'd gone to a Wizard to help his mum. Eggsy figured that even if he could afford to pay a Wizard, he'd be laughed out of the room for his silly Wishes.

But he still Wished. Not out loud, as he couldn't risk anyone Hearing it, but in his heart.

Late at night, as he lay in his bed, Eggsy would stare out the window at the stars and Wish, with all his might, for someone to love him the way his dad had loved his mum. Wished for a way to help his mum and sister to get away from his stepfather.

Although he'd never spoken it aloud, one day, his Wish was Granted. Though not quite in the way he'd imagined.

And, in the unlikely adventure that led to the Granting of his Untold Wish, Eggsy learned that the best tales are the ones about unlikely heroes. The heroes who don't even realize what they are until their tale is told.


	2. In Which Our Hero Makes a New Acquaintance

Eggsy woke up early, just as the sun was peeping over the horizon, and crept into the kitchen, hoping for a spot of breakfast before his stepfather awoke and chased him from the house. His mother Michelle was in the kitchen, working the dough for some tough, but hearty, bread. His baby sister lay slumbering in a basket near the fire, within his mother's eyesight and reach.

“Morning, Mum,” whispered Eggsy cheerfully, kissing his mother on the cheek.

“Good morning, dear,” Michelle whispered back with a small smile.

“How's my little flower this morning?” Eggsy asked, stepping over to the basket and running a finger gently down the baby's soft round cheek.

“Sleeping still, bless her,” said his mum. “Where you off to?”

Eggsy shrugged. “Thought I might go fishing for a bit. Maybe I can bring back something for lunch.”

Michelle nodded. “That's a grand idea. I got a taste for perch today.”

“Well, then,” said Eggsy, “I'll have to catch a whole basketful for you.”

Michelle paused in her baking and patted his cheek with one floury hand. “You're a good lad, Eggsy,” she said somberly. “I wish--”

“I know, Mum,” he interrupted. “And don't go wishing out loud; you know we can't afford it if a Wizard overhears and thinks it's an actual Wish.”

“I wouldn't know what to Wish even if we _could_ afford it,” sighed his mother, returning to her dough.

Of course, they both knew _exactly_ what she would Wish for: a way to support her children without having to rely on her lout of a second husband. But neither of them could voice it while Dean was in the house--even when he was asleep; it sometimes felt as if the very walls of their small house had ears and would tell him everything.

So, as usual, Eggsy did his best to keep both himself and his mother cheerful.

“Maybe for the milliner to move a bit closer than the Capital,” said Eggsy with a grin. “Then you could get a new dress more than once or twice a year.”

“That'd be a waste of a good Wish,” said Michelle with a quiet laugh. “I'd Wish for you to marry well and for the baby to grow up strong and clever, like her brother.”

“I notice you didn't say _quite good-looking_ in those list of qualities you want her to share with me.”

Michelle raised a brow. “I'd not Wish her to look like you; I _like_ her.”

“That hurts, Mum,” Eggsy pouted, resting a hand against his chest. “A fatal blow to my heart.”

“Oh, hush, you,” his mother scoffed, laughing again. “Make yourself useful, handsome boy, and go catch me some fish.”

Eggsy, as all good lads do, did as his mother told him and took his pole and creel down to the wide lake outside the village, settling himself on a large boulder occupied only by a silent green frog. He caught a few decent fish in quick succession, and after a few hours of good fishing, he set aside the pole and leaned back against the boulder on his elbows, tilting his chin up to enjoy the still-cool breeze of the late morning.

He felt eyes on him and looked around, but there was not a soul on the lake that morning except for him. He looked down at the frog and noted that its large round eyes seemed to be fixed on him.

“Uh, hello,” he said to the frog, feeling a bit silly, _because, really,_ he said to himself, _who talks to a frog?_

“Good day,” the Frog replied crisply, causing Eggsy to start so violently he nearly fell off his rock and into the lake.

“What the _fucking_ hell?” Eggsy exclaimed, scrambling to regain his balance. “The _fuck_ are you?”

The Frog reached out one webbed foot towards him. “I do apologize for startling you,” it said, in a surprisingly pleasant voice.

“You're a...a _talking frog_ ,” Eggsy breathed, staring down at the Frog, whose foot was still extended towards him.

“Yes,” said the Frog. “As you can see.”

“Did I hit my head?” Eggsy asked, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, looking down at the boulder he was perched on.

“No,” said the Frog. “I  _am_ a talking frog. Or, to be more specific, I am a  _human_ who's been turned  _into_ a talking frog.”

“How'd that happen?” Eggsy asked, a bit dazed. “You get on the wrong side of a Wizard?”

“Yes. Or, rather, I got on the wrong side of two men who I thought were trusted friends, one of whom is a Wizard.”

“Well that's a bit shit,” said Eggsy sympathetically. “So now you're stuck as a frog?”

The Frog shook its head. “Hopefully not. No spell is completely unbreakable,” it explained. “Transformation spells, though they require quite a lot of Magic to perform, are particularly easy to break, once you know how to undo them.”

“How do you go about breaking yours, then?” asked Eggsy. “You gotta kiss a Princess or something? Like in the old story?”

The Frog looked slightly amused, despite its predicament. “No doubt,” it said. “The man who had me cursed is a rather staunch traditionalist.”

“It'll be a bit tricky to find one for you, here,” said Eggsy apologetically. “We ain't got none in this kingdom, sorry; the King ain't married.”

“I am aware of that,” said the Frog, with an inexplicable testiness. “Which is, no doubt, why the Wizard chose to use this particular spell.”

“He sounds like a right arse,”Eggsy declared.

“He is, rather,” agreed the Frog. “I've always thought so, though he was good at his job, which I _thought_ made up for his being a bit of a twat.”

“Guess not anymore,” said Eggsy, waving a hand towards the Frog. “He'd have to be a right _angel_ to make up for doing this to you.”

“Even then,” sighed the Frog, “I'm not sure it'd be enough.”

“At least he didn't turn you into something really awful,” said Eggsy. “Though I guess it don't make much difference from your side of things.”

"Will you help me?” asked the Frog. “I desperately need to get back to the Palace, you see. As quickly as possible.”

“Oh, do you work up there?” Eggsy asked, interested. He'd been to the Capital before, but he'd never gotten any closer to the Palace than a glimpse through the gates.

The Frog hesitated for a moment. “Yes, something like that,” it said at last. “It's imperative that I return there straightaway.”

“I don't know how you expect me to be able to help you,” said Eggsy. “It's not like they let just anybody wander about up there, and I ain't exactly the type they welcome inside.”

“How very rude of me,” the Frog said suddenly. “I never introduced myself.”

“”S'alright,” said Eggsy with a shrug. “I don't think they got any kind of rules about meeting talking frogs, anyway.”

“Even so,” said the Frog. “It was very ungentlemanly on my part.”

“I ain't a gentleman,” said Eggsy. “So it don't bother me.”

“Social niceties should still be observed, regardless,” said the Frog stubbornly, nodding its head to Eggsy. “My name is--” the Frog hesitated, then finished, “--Harry.”

“I'm Eggsy,” said Eggsy. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is indeed mine, Master Eggsy,” said the Frog—and even though Eggsy knew his name now, he couldn't really wrap his mind around the idea of a talking frog being named _Harry_.

“I ain't never heard your name before,” said Eggsy. “But you sure sound posh. And you live at the Palace? Are you a Knight?”

“Of a sort,” said the Frog--Harry--and Eggsy thought he looked a bit like he'd be smiling if he were human.

“My dad was a Knight,” said Eggsy proudly.

“What was his name?” asked Harry. “There are many Knights, but it's possible that I knew him.”

“Sir Lee Unwin,” Eggsy declared. “He died saving the King's life, they told us.”

Harry nodded. “And three other Knights. One of those lives was mine.”

“Really?” Eggsy exclaimed. “My dad saved your life?”

Harry nodded. “He was a brave man, your father.”

“They never told us anyone else's names,” said Eggsy. “Just that he'd saved the King and everyone was grateful.”

“You wouldn't have recognized the name 'Harry',” said Harry. “You would know me by my title, but I can't tell you that, at present.”  

“Why not?” _He's probably a Kingsman_ , Eggsy decided. The Kingsmen were the most honored Knights in the land, and they were awarded titles by the King which they went by rather than their given names like other Knights.

“No insult intended,” said Harry, “but I _have_ been turned into a frog by someone I thought I could trust. So I find I'm a bit leery of trusting anyone new at the moment.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” said Eggsy, nodding. “'Fool me once,' as the saying goes.”

“Exactly,” said the Frog. “Thank you for understanding. Will you help me, Mister Unwin?”

“Just Eggsy is fine.” Eggsy pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Alright,” he shrugged. “I mean, how many times can a bloke say he's helped a talking frog—what's really a Knight who knew his dad--meet a Princess and break a curse? It'll make for a great story next time I'm at the pub.”

“Thank you,” said Harry, his little frog shoulders sagging in relief. “I owe you a great debt, Eggsy Unwin.”

Eggsy scoffed, standing and brushing dirt from his trousers. “Ain't nothin',” he dismissed. “I been meaning to go into the Capital, anyway. Wanna get some stuff for my mum.”

“It  _is_ a great deal,” Harry corrected. “Which I will certainly keep in mind once this is over.”

“If you say so,” Eggsy conceded. “Come on, then, Harry.” He reached down an open hand. The Frog on the rock stared at his palm for a bit, then sighed and hopped into it.

“I'm far too old for this shit,” sighed Harry, as Eggsy lifted him and deposited him gently into the breast pocket of his loose shirt. “But I don't suppose I have much of a choice.”

“I may not be the tallest bloke in town,” said Eggsy, “but my stride's still a bit longer than a frog's.”

Harry let out an odd little croak, which Eggsy supposed was Froggish for laughter.

“I gotta stop by the house, first,” said Eggsy as he grabbed his nearly forgotten fishing pole and creel. “Gotta drop this off and let Mum know I'm off to the Capital.”

“That's fine,” said Harry, shifting about in Eggsy's pocket until he could poke his head and front legs out. “I certainly don't want to cause your mother any distress.”

“Then you might want to stay quiet until we get on the road to the Palace,” said Eggsy. “The most Magic that we've seen around here was the time a traveling Wizard came and made my stepdad's shoes dance all on their own, while he was wearing them. Happened when I was a kid. He was _furious_.”

“That sounds like a rather harmless little piece of Magic,” said Harry.

“I didn't say she made them dance _well,_ ” said Eggsy. “And my stepdad ain't got no sense of humor.” His expression didn't invite any further questions on that topic.

The walk to Eggsy's home was finished in silence. Eggsy was a bit excited because it felt like he was living an actual Fairy Tale, just like in the stories the old man down in the village was always telling. He was helping out a _talking frog_ who'd been Cursed by an _evil Wizard_! A _Knight_! Who might even be a _Kingsman_! Maybe once they tracked down a Princess and got Harry all human again, he'd let Eggsy be his squire. Wouldn't his mum be proud, then!

 

* * *

 

“Mum,” Eggsy called, poking his head into the small kitchen.

“You're back early,” she said, smiling at him and taking his basket. “You've sure got plenty,” she declared as she peeked into the basket. “I swear, the fish flock to you like they're the maidens in the village.”

“ _Mum_ ,” Eggsy hissed, embarrassed.

“And why shouldn't they?” Michelle asked stoutly, reaching up to pinch his cheek. “Handsome lad like you?”

“ _Muuum_ ,” Eggsy chided, leaning back out of her reach. “I'm gonna go to the Capital, if it's alright with you. Be gone til next week, I think. Did you want me to get that new pin you was talking about yesterday?”

His mother raised her eyebrows. “This is a bit sudden,” she said. “But if you're wanting to go, that's up to you. Don't forget to grab a bottle of that dark ale Dean likes that he can only find there. You know he’s always wishing they’d serve it down at the pub.”

Eggsy bit back a tart declaration that he had no intention of bringing _anything_ for his stepfather, nodded, and, after tossing a few things in a small bag and kissing his mum and sister on the cheek, headed off down the road, Harry in his pocket.

 


	3. In Which Our Hero Begins His Journey

“It'll take us about three days to get there,” said Eggsy conversationally. “If the weather stays good, that is,” he added, peering up at the sky.

“It should,” said Harry. “This time of year, the Wizards are always at work to keep the weather as pleasant as possible.”

“Maybe up where you live,” Eggsy replied with a snort. “Ain't no Wizards give a damn about folks around here, and nobody can afford to hire one, so we just have to deal with whatever Nature sends us. This time of year, we could get rain the whole way. But I don't see any clouds, so we should be fine.” He hefted his bag a little higher on his shoulder, glancing down to make sure Harry was still snug in his pocket. The Frog waved a little webbed foot at him and he smiled before returning his eyes to the road in front of them.

“What's it like?” Eggsy asked, after a few moments. “Up there in the Palace, I mean.”

“Crowded,” Harry replied, his voice a bit muffled as he shifted around a bit in Eggsy's pocket. “Do you mind if I sit on your free shoulder rather than here in your pocket?”

Eggsy shook his head and he felt Harry clamber out of the pocket and up onto his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Harry's voice was pretty much directly in his ear, now.

Eggsy stopped himself just in time from shrugging. “No problem,” he replied. “You were saying the Palace is crowded?”

“Yes,” Harry said, sounding a trifle weary. “It's always full of Courtiers, Council members, Knights, servants, _constantly_. I can never get a moment to myself.”

“Popular bloke, are you?” Eggsy teased.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Harry replied. Before Eggsy could ask more, Harry asked, “Who was that lovely little girl in the basket by the fire?”

Thoughts of the Palace were completely forgotten in favor of the opportunity to brag about his darling little flower. “That's my sister,” Eggsy said proudly. “Ain't she gorgeous?”

“A more beautiful child has never been seen,” Harry said magnanimously, and Eggsy beamed and impulsively reached up to stroke a finger across the Frog's head.

“You're damn right about that,” Eggsy declared. “She's the only good thing that ever came out of my mum marrying my stepdad.” He went on to speak at some length and with great enthusiasm of his young sister's many accomplishments, the latest of which included knowing his name.

“Mum says she's just making noises,” Eggsy said. “You know, _egg_ and _eee_ , but I know she's saying my name.”

Harry gave that little Froggish laugh again. “She sounds delightful.”

“She's grand,” Eggsy beamed. “She's my very favorite person in the whole world.”

“I always wanted a sibling,” said Harry wistfully. “But I suppose my parents decided they'd done their duty with me and other children weren't necessary.”

“I bet they figured you were a handful all by yourself,” Eggsy replied with a rakish grin.

“I have no idea what you could possibly mean; I was the model of decorum at all times,” sniffed Harry, though the corners of his mouth were twitching.

Eggsy laughed again. “Sure you were,” he said playfully. “Never gossiped about the Courtiers or nothing.”

“I have always been the soul of discretion,” Harry protested, his twinkling eyes telling another story.

Eggsy snorted. “Right, because _discretion_ is just blurting out to a perfect stranger about how you got turned into a frog.”

“And _wisdom_ is agreeing to help that stranger get un-frogged.”

“Hey,” Eggsy said with a smile, which Harry returned. “I never claimed to be wise.”

 

* * *

 

After a few hours, they heard the rumbling of wheels, and Eggsy turned to see a wagon heading towards them. Eggsy waved down the driver as Harry slid back down into Eggsy's breast pocket. The man on the wagon smiled cautiously down at Eggsy as he pulled his mules to a halt.

“Where're you headed, boy?” the man asked jovially around the stem of the crudely carved wooden pipe clenched in his teeth.

“The Capital,” Eggsy replied. “You think you could give u—me a ride?”

The man chomped thoughtfully on his pipe for a moment. “I suppose,” he said. “I ain't headed to the Capital, but I could take you to the crossroad.”

Eggsy grinned up at him. “That'd be great,” he said. “I been walking all morning and any rest is welcome.”

The man reached down with one hand and hauled Eggsy up onto the bench next to him before clicking his tongue at his mules to start them up again.

“My name's Eggsy,” said Eggsy.

“I'm Tom,” the other man said, puffing on his pipe.

“Thanks again for the ride, Tom.”

Tom waved away Eggsy's thanks. “Have you heard the latest news from the Capital?” he asked as the wagon lurched down the road.

Eggsy shook his head. “I'm just on my way there to get a few things from the Market.”

“Well,” Tom said conspiratorially, leaning towards Eggsy as though he were about to convey a great secret, “they _say_ that the King has _disappeared_.”

“Disappeared!” Eggsy exclaimed.

“Aye,” the other man replied, nodding. “Heard it from my wife, who got it from the baker, who heard it from _his_ wife, whose sister works up at the Palace.”

“Practically firsthand,” Harry muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Eggsy said hastily. “You were saying about the King?”

Tom nodded again. “Ain't nobody seen him for _days._ They _say_ that he's up and run off because the Council wants him to marry some foreign Princess.”

“Seems like they're _always_ wanting him to marry _somebody_ ,” Eggsy said. “Long as I can remember. But he ain't never married; you think they'd have given up on marrying him off by now.”

Tom let out a booming laugh. “I know I would've!” he exclaimed. “But _kings,_ you know.”

Eggsy nodded. “Guess he's gotta have a Queen or Prince Consort _eventually.”_

“That's what I say,” Tom agreed. “Don't seem right for him to be all alone.”

“Who knows,” Eggsy said, a bit wistfully, “maybe he's waiting for his True Love.”

“If anyone’s got a True Love, our King does,” Tom agreed, nodding sagely.

Harry, of course, said nothing, but Eggsy could feel him shifting around in the pocket, as though he _wanted_ to.

 

* * *

 

They reached the crossroads, and Eggsy climbed down from the wagon with a grateful wave, which Tom returned before setting off down the fork to the right. Eggsy peered at the signs, hoping that they included pictures and not just words. Unfortunately, the signs contained only letters and numbers. Peering at the numbers, Eggsy chose one of the signs whose numbers seemed to convey the distance to the Capital. “I think it's this way,” he said decisively, pointing off to the left.

“No, we continue straight,” Harry replied as he clambered back onto Eggsy's shoulder, raising a webbed foot and pointing to the sign. He turned and looked up at Eggsy. “Do you not know how to read, Eggsy?”

Eggsy flushed as he began walking in the direction Harry had indicated. “Don't mean nothing,” he said hotly. “Lots of people can't read.”

“You really shouldn't neglect your education, Eggsy,” Harry chastised.

“My mum needed me,” Eggsy retorted. “I couldn't just tell her I wasn't gonna help her out because I wanted to go to school.”

Harry pursed his mouth. “You could have made the time. Ignorance doesn't suit you.”

Eggsy stopped walking and plucked Harry off his shoulder, cupping him in his hands and bringing him up to eye level. “Look, _mate_ ,” he bit out, “not everyone's got the option to _make time_ to get _education_ , especially when they got a stepdad like mine, what thinks that school is a waste of time for people like us, who ain't never gonna use it anyway. So maybe you should get off your posh high horse, because for all my being _uneducated_ and _ignorant,_ I ain't the one here that got himself turned into a frog, am I.”

Harry looked slightly abashed. “Eggsy, I--”

“And, really, what good's knowing how to _read_ gonna do me when I ain't never gonna get any kind of work or nothing that needs me to do it anyway?” Eggsy huffed. “I know my numbers and that's all I need. You posh gits, always thinking that everyone's gotta be just like you or they're somehow less.” He clenched his jaw and looked away for a moment. “I'm _just_ as good as you, Harry,” he said lowly. “Just because I can't hardly tell one word from another don't make you no better or smarter than me.”

“Eggsy--”

“Let's just walk for a bit, yeah?” Eggsy interrupted, plopping Harry back onto his shoulder. “Don't really feel like talking no more.”

Harry said nothing, just settled meekly back onto Eggsy's shoulder and stared off down the road.

 

* * *

 

Eggsy squinted against the fading light of the setting sun. He pointed off to the left of the road. “Does that look like smoke to you?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence of the last hour or so.

From his perch on Eggsy's shoulder, Harry peered where Eggsy indicated. “It might be,” he said cautiously. “Does anyone live in this area?”

“I don't know,” Eggsy answered. “But it's worth looking into, yeah? Maybe they'll let us bunk for the night.”

“Hmm,” replied Harry. “Perhaps I should return to your pocket while you talk with them.” He slid down Eggsy's chest and back into the pocket over his heart.

“Ready?” Eggsy asked, glancing down at him. He could feel Harry shifting around a bit in his pocket, getting comfortable.

“Yes, thank you.”

Eggsy set off in the direction of the smoke. After a few minutes, a small wooden house with a thatched roof came into view, a large cauldron boiling merrily on a fire near the door. The small yard was surrounded by a picket fence. On the fence's gate, a symbol had been carefully painted in a bright shade of blue.

“Somebody's at home,” Eggsy said, relieved, pointing to the window, where a shadow could be seen moving behind the curtains.

“Look at the sigil on the gate,” Harry whispered, peeping out from Eggsy's pocket. “Fortune is with us, it seems, Eggsy.”

Eggsy peered at the design. “What's it mean?”

“This is a Wizard's dwelling,” Harry explained. “The blue tells us he's a Master of his craft.”

“What's a Master Wizard doing all the way out here?” Eggsy wondered. “Don't they usually live in castles?”

“Perhaps he never found or wanted a patron,” Harry replied. “It happens occasionally, though it's certainly not common.”

“Huh.” Eggsy gingerly opened the gate, as he wouldn't put it past a Wizard to booby trap his fence to keep out unwanted outsiders. It wouldn't do much good if Eggsy got _himself_ turned into a frog by a hermit of a Wizard. However, nothing happened, and he continued heading towards the house.

“You think he could help us find a Princess?” Eggsy asked as they made their way up the short path to the dwelling.

“Of course,” said Harry. “Location and detection spells are quite simple.”

“You sure know a lot about Magic,” Eggsy observed. “Was you a candidate for apprenticeship or something?”

“No,” Harry said. “I have no Magical ability, myself. But...” he hesitated, “my... _job_ requires that I know the basics of Magic. And I have encountered Wizards, in my time.”

Eggsy nodded. A Knight, especially a Kingsman (as he continued to suspect Harry might be), would occasionally have dealings with Wizards, particularly the Council Wizard, Valentine.

As they passed by the cauldron, Eggsy peered inside and was surprised to see it full of fabric. “Guess it's laundry day,” he remarked.

“Even Magic has its limitations,” said Harry. “And, along with the rest of us mortals, Wizards are susceptible to dirt.”

Eggsy smiled as he raised his hand to knock on the rough-hewn door of the house. “Nice to know even Master Wizards can't avoid getting a little mud on themselves every now and again.”

With that, he raised his fist and rapped sharply on the door.

 


	4. In Which Our Hero Meets a Wizard

The door opened to reveal a tall man in a dark blue robe. He had no hair, and a pair of thin wire-rim spectacles were perched a bit crookedly over his head, as though he'd hurriedly shoved them out of his eyes at the knock upon the door. “Can I help you?” he asked, his tone and expression not nearly as polite as his inquiry.

“We're looking for a beautiful Princess,” Eggsy blurted.

“I'm afraid you've got the wrong house,” the man replied dryly. “Nobody here but a rather dashing Wizard.”

“We need your assistance,” said Harry, drawing the Wizard's surprised gaze.  “I've been Cursed.”

“Ah,” breathed the Wizard, reaching up to pull the spectacles back down over his eyes. “Now _this_ is something I might be able to help you with. Come on in.” He took a step back to let Eggsy into the small house, before shutting the door and bolting it.

“I'm Eggsy,” said Eggsy as he sat down at the table the Wizard indicated. “And this is Harry.”

“Charmed,” said the Wizard. “I am known as Merlin.”

“I've heard of you,” said Harry as he carefully hopped out of Eggsy's pocket and onto the tabletop, which was crowded with various Magical items. “You approached the Council many years ago.”

Merlin nodded. “Aye, as a young man,” he said, as he joined Eggsy and Harry at the table. “I wished to apprentice myself to the Wizard Valentine, but was denied without so much as an introduction.”

“Odd,” said Harry, musing. “It is not customary to outright _deny_ such a thing. You should have been given a chance to prove your potential, first, especially since Valentine did not have an Apprentice at the time.”

“Has he got an Apprentice now?” Eggsy wondered.

Harry nodded. “Yes, a young lady named Gazelle, very powerful. She will soon overtake him, I think, if she has not already.”

“Was she in on this with him?” asked Merlin, gesturing to Harry.

Harry nodded again. “She cast a spell to immobilize me while Valentine cast the transformation spell.”

Merlin hummed thoughtfully. “I assume you're looking for a way to break his spell?”

“We figured Harry needed to kiss a Princess,” said Eggsy. “Like in the old tale.”

Merlin nodded. “Aye. That would likely do it. But do you know where to find one?”

“I thought Princess Tilde,” said Harry. “She is unmarried, still, last I heard. And she is the closest, though her Kingdom is two weeks' ride away.”

Merlin nodded again and ran one long-fingered hand over a shining crystal ball sitting at his elbow. He stared down into it, hummed thoughtfully, then looked back up at his guests over the rims of his spectacles. “Actually,” he said, “It seems Princess Tilde is on her way to _our_ Capital.”

“She is?” Eggsy and Harry asked in unison.

“Guess old Tom was right,” said Eggsy, looking down at Harry. “Is the King gonna settle down after all?”

“Not to my knowledge,” said Merlin. “But perhaps the Council is trying to convince him to marry her to unite the two kingdoms.”

“They won't manage it,” Harry declared. When the two others turned to look at him, the Frog's bulbous eyes turned a bit cagey and he continued, “I've heard he's stubborn as hell about his refusal to marry.”

“Isn't he just?” said Merlin, with a calculating look at the Frog on his table.

“Well, he don't really need to marry her, just kiss her, yeah?” said Eggsy. “Her coming here makes our job a bit easier, don't it? I certainly wasn't fancying having to go all that way.”

“You still have to convince her to kiss him,” said Merlin.

“That should be easy enough,” said Eggsy. “Just tell her who you are and she'll be more than happy to help, I'd think.”

The Frog shook his head. “No,” he said. “I cannot risk giving away my true identity while I'm vulnerable in this form, and most Princesses are not inclined to give kisses to just anyone.” He looked forlornly down at his webbed toes. “And certainly not to frogs.”

“Oi,” Eggsy protested staunchly. “Don't be like that. Charming frog like you? Princesses will be swarming like flies.”

“Maybe not like flies.” Merlin smirked. “He might end up eating them.”

“And not in the fun way, eh?” Eggsy joked, tossing a saucy wink down at Harry.

“That's not appropriate, Eggsy,” Harry scolded, but his eyes were sparkling again.

The back door to the house suddenly opened, and a lovely young woman wearing the plain black robes of an Apprentice entered. “Oh,” she said, upon noticing Eggsy. She turned to Merlin. “I didn't realize you had a guest, Merlin.”

“This is Eggsy and Harry.” Merlin pointed to each of them. “Gentlemen, this is my assistant, Roxanne.”

“Call me Roxy,” said the young woman as she held out a hand. Eggsy hastily rubbed his hand along his trouser leg in an attempt to clean it off before shaking the offered hand.

Roxy gave Merlin a questioning look.

“Frog curse,” Merlin said succinctly. “They're trying to get to the Palace and procure Princess Tilde's assistance while she's here.”

“Ah,” Roxy replied. She looked down at Harry, sitting quietly on the table. “Terribly sorry.”

“You look familiar, as well,” said Harry. “Were you ever at the Palace?”

Roxy nodded. “About a year ago,” she said. “I wanted to be a Knight, but they laughed me off. Said they'd never let a woman have such an honor.”

Harry frowned darkly, and Eggsy bit his lip to keep from laughing at how adorable the expression looked on Harry's little froggy face.

“I'm sorry to hear that,” said Harry. “If I'd known about it at the time, I certainly would have supported your training.”

Roxy shrugged. “It turned out well in the end,” she said. “On my way home I encountered Merlin, and he told me that I had some Magical ability. I've been his Apprentice and bodyguard ever since.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I don't need a _bodyguard,_ ” he protested, and it was obvious to both Eggsy and Harry that this was an argument they'd had before.

“Hmm,” Roxy replied, raising a skeptical brow. Turning back to Eggsy, she said, “Perhaps I should clarify that when I say _encountered,_ I mean _rescued from highwaymen._ ”

“Wow,” Eggsy exclaimed. “I ain't never met a highwayman before.”

Roxy shrugged one black-clad shoulder. “There were only three of them,” she said casually. “They'd managed to incapacitate Merlin so he couldn't use his Magic. I dispatched them easily enough.”

“How?” asked Eggsy.

Roxy smirked at him. “I look unassuming. I distracted them by pretending I'd been hurt and when they came forward to _help,_ I, well--” she shrugged again. “Took care of it.”

“I could've handled them _easily_ myself,” grumbled Merlin, though it seemed more of a token protest than a true objection.

“It is _indeed_ a pity that you were turned away from the Knights,” said Harry, impressed.

“Pity for the Knights, perhaps,” said Merlin with a fond smile at Roxy.

“Would you mind,” Eggsy blurted, causing everyone to look at him. “I mean....I ain't much of a fighter, really, just a pub fight or two and an occasional punch at my stepfather, and Harry's a _frog_ at the moment _,_ so he can't do nothing—no  offense, Harry—but I mean....we could use you. On our journey.”

“Very eloquently put, Eggsy,” said Harry dryly, with a little smile.

Roxy and Merlin shared a long glance. Merlin shrugged and quirked up one side of his mouth, and Roxy grinned back at him.

“All right,” she said, turning to Eggsy. “I'll come along and protect you.”

 

* * *

 

Harry and Eggsy spent the night at Merlin's, sleeping on blankets by the fireplace. Roxy had been hesitant to allow it, offering her bed to Eggsy, as he was a guest, but Eggsy had just laughed and told her that he was no stranger to sleeping on the floor, as he'd spent many a night doing just that while his baby sister was teething (he'd left out the part about how he'd done it so he could soothe the poor tyke before she woke up his stepdad; the first time the baby's cries had awoken the man, he had threatened to drown the baby if she disturbed his sleep again. Although the baby was past the worst of her teething, Eggsy still slept with the little girl within arm's reach every now and then, just to make sure she was safe). Roxy had conceded with a shrug and a smile, but Harry had gazed steadily up at Eggsy, as though hearing Eggsy’s unvoiced thoughts.

Bright and early the next morning, Roxy and Eggsy set out, Harry once again perched on Eggsy's shoulder. Merlin had refilled Eggsy's bag with supplies, and just as Eggsy was about to leave, the Wizard had clapped his hand down on Eggsy's shoulder, right near where Harry was seated, and leaned down to whisper in Eggsy's ear, loud enough so Harry could hear, “Keep in mind that Magic isn't always as complicated as you think it is.”

Eggsy blinked up at him. “What do you mean?”

Merlin shrugged enigmatically. “Sometimes, the solution you need is one you don't even consider. One that's right in front of your nose.” He reached out with one long finger and tapped Eggsy on the nose for emphasis.

“Okay?” Eggsy replied hesitantly, sharing a confused glance with the Frog on his shoulder.

Merlin didn't speak any further, just straightened up and wished them good travels. “Make sure to send my assistant home in one piece,” he ordered. “It'd be rather tiresome to have to start with a new one just when I've got this one trained up.”

“I heard that!” Roxy called from the gate.

“Thank you for all your help,” said Harry. “If you ever need anything--”

“I think I know who to ask for,” replied Merlin, with a knowing look at Harry.

Eggsy looked back and forth between the Wizard and the Frog, wondering what he'd missed. Did Merlin know who Harry really was? How did he _know_?

Eggsy felt a little pang in his chest at the thought that Harry still didn't trust _him_ enough to reveal his identity, but he didn't appear threatened by the fact that Merlin seemed to know.

Harry avoided Eggsy's gaze and didn't say anything in response to Merlin's statement. Eggsy took that as his cue to join Roxy at the gate.

“Are you ready?” she asked, her eyes traveling over him. “What did Merlin say to you?”

“Just gave us a few tips,” Eggsy replied evasively. “Let's go.”

 

* * *

 

Eggsy hadn't had such an enjoyable day in a very long time, even with the strangeness between him and Harry, both from their argument the day before and from Eggsy's conflicted feelings towards the man—well, Frog (but only temporarily). He'd thought that the trip to the Capital would be boring after a while (walking and looking at trees is only interesting for so long, after all), but the three travelers passed the day by regaling each other with tales of their lives, much to the others' amusement.

Roxy told Eggsy and Harry about the first time she'd tried a Self-Levitating spell and had made herself sick.

“Apparently, I'm not fond of heights,” she explained, shrugging.

Eggsy mentioned the time he'd _borrowed_ a mule from one of his stepdad's friends, riding the animal around in circles as the man fruitlessly chased them down the street.

“Didn't even need any hands,” Eggsy said proudly. “And even once I got caught, he had a hell of a time getting that mule back home. It _hated_ him and refused to move.”

Harry was silent for a while, but eventually told—with many pauses, and intentionally not naming anyone else in the story—of a time when he was a boy at the Palace and he'd left a rather large spider in a Kingsman's helmet.

“It was worth the punishment I got,” he confided with a little froggy grin as his two companions laughed. “Just to see him dancing around, trying to avoid the thing. The other Knights teased him about it for _weeks._ ”

 

* * *

 

As dusk began to fall, the travelers settled in for the night, as it was too dangerous to continue down the road in the dark. Eggsy set Harry down on a nearby stump and flopped down on the ground beside it before digging through his bag for some bread and dried meat while Roxy built a small fire.

“We'll have to take turns keeping watch,” she said to Eggsy as she coaxed the sparks into a flame with a slight gesture of her hands.

“I'll take first watch,” Eggsy said as he handed Roxy a chunk of bread a few pieces of jerky. “I'm not really tired, yet.”

“I can stay up with you,” Harry chimed in from his stump. “I've been resting in fits all day, and this way, you'll have some company during your watch.”

“All right,” Roxy agreed as she finished eating and lay down by the fire, curling her robes around her. She was soon fast asleep, breathing evenly through her nose.

Eggsy leaned back against the stump, tucking his bag behind his head as a makeshift pillow. His position left his head even with the top of the stump, and Harry hopped closer so he and Eggsy could speak more quietly, so as not to wake Roxy.

“What will you do?” Eggsy murmured as he tore a piece of jerky into small pieces and set them on the stump for Harry. “Once you're human again, I mean.”

Harry stared into the fire for a moment. “I don't know,” he said. “I suppose the first thing I'll do is expose the Council Lord and the Wizard for the traitors they are.” His sticky tongue shot out and nabbed a piece of the jerky, drawing it back into his mouth.

Eggsy jumped a bit at the sudden movement before grinning at Harry. “See, me, the first thing I'd do as a human after being a frog would probably be getting a pint.”

Harry huffed his froggish laugh. “Perhaps I'll do that afterward.”

“You gotta have an actual _pint,_ though,” Eggsy ordered. “Not just some fancy posh wine or something. I mean _ale.”_

“That's settled, then,” Harry declared warmly. “Once I'm human again, and the people who did this to me are punished for it, I'm taking your advice, and you and I will get a pint of whatever beverage you deem suitable for such an occasion.”

“It's a deal.” Eggsy grinned at him, and Harry smiled back.

Eggsy firmly ignored the fluttering in his stomach as he turned back to the fire.  

“Eggsy,” Harry said softly, after a moment. “I wanted to apologize for my words earlier.”

“Hmm?” Eggsy murmured, not taking his eyes from the bright flames.

“You are correct that your education—or lack thereof—does not make you any less of a person, and I am truly sorry that I made you feel that way.”

Eggsy shrugged. “'S'alright,” he said. “You're right that I should probably learn.”

“I'd be happy to teach you.”

“Over that pint?”

“Absolutely.”

The young man and the Frog shared a smile, and with that, the heavy awkwardness that had been hovering over them since their argument dissipated like the smoke curling up from the fire.


	5. In Which Our Hero Reaches the Palace

Eggsy woke to Roxy shaking his shoulder. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” she grinned. “The sun's already up and we want to get moving if we're going to make it to the Palace today.”

Eggsy sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at the stump where Harry had been sitting the night before, but it was empty. “Where's Harry?”

Roxy just smirked and pointed to the ground. Eggsy looked down to see that Harry was still resting right next to where Eggsy's head had been while he slept. “As soon as you fell asleep he hopped down there,” she said. “Watched you almost all night. He did that at Merlin's as well.”  

Eggsy felt himself flush slightly under her searching look. He dropped his eyes from hers and his gaze fell on Harry.  He gently reached down and cupped one hand around the resting Frog. “Wake up, Harry,” he said softly, and smiled as Harry's eyes opened and their eyes met.

“Good morning, Eggsy,” Harry greeted as he hopped up onto Eggsy's knee. “I trust you slept well.”

“Not too bad,” Eggsy replied with a yawn. “Are you glad to be almost home?”

“I'll be happier once I'm no longer an amphibian,” Harry sighed. “I’ve almost forgotten what being human feels like.”

“Eager to walk by yourself instead of being carried around in my pocket?”

“I'm sure you'll be relieved to not have to be my chauffeur anymore.”

Eggsy shrugged and grinned down at him. “Eh, you're not too much trouble,” he said. “Less demanding than my sister, anyway. She kicks when we're playing Horsie.”

“That's how you make a horse go faster, of course,” Harry replied, amusement warming his voice. “Any rider knows that. Maybe if you weren't such a plodder, she wouldn't have to kick you so much.”

“Oi,” Eggsy protested over Roxy's giggles. “I ain't no _plodder_. I'm a damn fine horsie, ta very much.”

“Forgive me,” Harry said gravely. “It seems I have once again impugned your honor.”

“Damn right,” Eggsy replied, lips twitching, as he carefully picked Harry up off his knee and stood, setting the Frog on his usual perch on Eggsy's shoulder.

“Are you two ready to go?” Roxy asked, raising an eyebrow at them.

Eggsy nodded.

“Well, then.” Roxy tossed an apple at Eggsy and gestured to the road as he took a bite with a loud _crunch_. “Giddy up.”

 

* * *

 

Although it was midday and the sun was shining high, the forest was fairly dim due to the thick foliage. The sun managed to peek through the leaves every now and then, but the occasional glimmers of sunlight just made the overall darkness of the forest that much more noticeable.

“Stay close,” Roxy ordered, gesturing at Eggsy to walk more closely beside her. “You never know who might be waiting just off the road for unsuspecting travelers.”

“In the middle of the day?” Eggsy asked incredulously.

“Sure,” Roxy shrugged. “This part of the path is rarely patrolled by Knights, and it’s particularly easy to hide in the trees this time of year, no matter what hour of the day it is.”

Eggsy shot a wary look at the tall trees lining the road.

“We’re probably fine,” Harry soothed from Eggsy’s shoulder. “We don’t look like we have anything worth taking.”

At that moment, as if summoned by Harry’s words and determined to prove him wrong, a pair of rather tattered-looking men stepped out of the trees. One, a man whose shoulders were as broad as his thick waist, held up a cudgel. “Give us yer money, Wizard girl,” he sneered, looking Roxy up and down, his eyes flickering over her Apprentice robes.

“Do we look like we got any money, mate?” Eggsy called, holding up his hands as the other man, as tall and thin as his companion was stout, pulled a knife from his sleeve and held it towards Eggsy.

“Shut up,” he snarled, “and give us what you got.”

Roxy sighed heavily, as though she were merely annoyed with the two men threatening her. Which, Eggsy mused, was probably the truth. “Honestly,” she said, casually tossing her hair over her shoulder before tying it into a tail with a bit of ribbon she pulled out of a hidden pocket of her robe, “I don’t know what this world is coming to when I can’t even get robbed by a _decent_ pair of highwaymen.”

“Oi,” said the stout man, holding out his cudgel, “what’d you say?”

“At least the last ones had the good sense to _outnumber_ the man they were trying to rob.”

The stout one looked puzzled. “Two o’ us and two o’ you. One fer each.”

“We’se decent,” protested the tall one. He thrust his knife at Eggsy, who leaped back from him, reaching up to ensure Harry wouldn’t fall from his perch.

“I-I’m sure you are,” Eggsy stammered, his attention drifting from the man in front of him to Roxy, who had just kicked the cudgel out of the other robber’s hand.

Eggsy wracked his brain for what to do. Normally, he would just throw a punch at the man, but he had Harry to worry about, and even as the Frog slid down into his pocket for safekeeping, Eggsy still couldn’t be sure that Harry would be entirely safe during a fistfight.

Eggsy decided to just try to keep the second robber’s attention on him so he couldn’t join his partner, who didn’t seem to be faring so well in his fight with Roxy.

“Boff and me, we just need a bit o’dosh, you know how it is,” the tall thief said, waving his knife at Eggsy again, unaware of his partner’s troubles. “So just give us what you got and him and me will go on our way.”

“Shut up, Pip!” yelled the stout robber--Boff, apparently--as he dodged a punch. “Stick ‘im and take ‘is money, you idiot!”

“I’m telling you,” Eggsy said, trying to keep Pip’s attention and holding in a sympathetic wince as Boff yanked on Roxy’s hair while she swept his feet out from under him, “we ain’t got no money.”

Pip frowned. “You gots a Wizard with ya,” he said suspiciously. “How’d you get a Wizard to come with ya if you ain’t got no money?”

Before Eggsy could reply, Roxy knocked the thief out with his partner’s cudgel. The tall man slumped to the ground, and Roxy, still clutching the weapon she’d taken from the other unconscious man, grinned down at him.

“He asked nicely,” Roxy said to Pip’s prone body, before looking up to share a grin with Eggsy.

“Well, now that _that’s_ over,” she said cheerily, “let’s get you two to the Palace.”

 

* * *

 

Eggsy tried not to gawp at the Capital, but it was difficult. This was the largest city he’d ever seen in his life! Why, everyone in his village could fit into the building with the columns Roxy told him was a bank. Eggsy couldn’t even begin to imagine how much money was in there.

And the crowds! He’d never seen so many people!

There was something new to see everywhere he turned.

“Is it always like this?” he asked, awed, turning his head this way and that.

“Most of the time,” Harry murmured from inside Eggsy’s pocket. As had become their custom, he’d slid into the pocket before they met up with anyone who would find it odd to see a frog sitting on someone’s shoulder.

“Though it’s a bit more crowded than a usual day at this time,” said Roxy. “People must have heard about the Princess coming to visit and traveled in anticipation of some kind of announcement.”

Eggsy felt Harry shift around in his pocket and looked down to see Harry frown, but, unlike the previous times someone had mentioned the Princess and the King, the Frog said nothing but rather looked a bit resigned. Eggsy wondered what Harry was thinking, but he knew that the middle of the Capital Markets was not the place for that kind of discussion.

“Wow,” Eggsy said turning his attention from Harry back to the press of people around them. “But it’s so loud. How can you stand how loud it is?”

“You get used to it,” Roxy replied. “Now come on, the Palace is this way.”

 

* * *

 

“Okay, now what?” Eggsy murmured as he peered through the closed iron gates. “How are we supposed to get in there? And how do we find Princess Tilde once we're in?”

Harry peeked over the top of Eggsy's pocket. “We've timed our arrival quite auspiciously,” he said. “That's her, over there on the right, speaking with Sir Gawain.” Eggsy looked where Harry had indicated and saw a tall blonde woman in a dark blue dress speaking with a Knight in green.

“But she's on _that_ side of the gates and we're on _this_ one,” Eggsy replied. He tugged on the gates, but other than a slight rattle, they didn't move. “And they're locked.”

“Follow me to the servants' entrance,” Roxy suggested, turning from the gate and striding off towards that part of the Palace. “That's usually always--”

“Excuse me!” Eggsy shouted, ignoring her. “I need to speak with Princess Tilde!”

The Princess and the Knight she was speaking to looked towards the gate, surprised. The Knight leaned in to speak to her again, and she shook her head and placed a hand on his arm to prevent him from walking away from her. With a final glance in Eggsy’s direction, the Knight led the Princess towards the Palace doors.

“--or you could shout,” Harry muttered.

“It's faster,” Eggsy whispered back.

“You there!” shouted another Knight (this one dressed in plain gray), storming towards Eggsy. “What do you think you're doing?” He unlocked the gate and, reaching out to Eggsy with one beefy hand, hauled Eggsy through the gate by his collar. “How _dare_ you ask to speak with the _Princess.”_ The Knight glowered down at Eggsy, who stumbled, trying not to fall as the Knight continued to pull Eggsy along behind him. “You think a _princess_ has time or care for the likes of you, peasant?”

“I just wanna talk with her for a minute,” Eggsy pleaded as the Knight dragged him across the courtyard. “I just wanted to ask her something.”

“No doubt you wish to trouble her with your unimportant little _problems,”_ the Knight sneered. “Well, we're under _orders_ to make sure the Princess is _not_ disturbed by any kind of.... _rabble.”_

With that, he opened a wooden door that Eggsy suddenly realized was a jailhouse. The Knight took a key from a hook on the wall, unlocked a cell, and tossed Eggsy inside. Eggsy had to catch himself on the cot to keep from falling flat on his face and squishing Harry, who was still huddled in his breast pocket.

“I thought Knights were supposed to have manners,” Eggsy muttered, loud enough for the Knight to hear.

The man turned and sneered at him. “You wouldn’t know manners if they curtsied to you and called you _Your Majesty_ ,” he scoffed. “I’m not going to waste them on _you._ ” With that, he stormed off to join the handful of Knights seated at the small table on the other side of the room. Some of them were dressed in gray, like he was, and others were wearing cloaks in a variety of jewel tones. _Those must be Kingsmen,_ Eggsy thought, and he wondered what color Harry’s Kingsman cloak was.

“He’s quite wrong, you know,” murmured Harry, as Eggsy gently lifted him out of his pocket and set the Frog on his knee.

“About what?” Eggsy asked, draping his arms across his legs, his wrist resting next to Harry.

“Manners,” Harry clarified, shifting on Eggsy’s knee, his slight weight cool against the skin of Eggsy’s wrist. “They are not intended to be used solely on those we find impressive or worthy of our notice. A gentleman should use his manners with all people, regardless of their status. Manners are _never_ wasted.”

“There’s not a lot of people who’d agree with that,” Eggsy smiled down at him. “You’re a fine kind of a gentleman, Harry.”

“My tutors would be gratified to hear you say so,” Harry smiled back. “They despaired of me ever becoming one.”

Eggsy laughed. “Well, as much as my word counts for anything, I think they did a fine job.”

“It counts for quite a lot,” Harry replied, with a slight press of one webbed foot to Eggsy’s hand. “More than you know.”


	6. In Which Our Hero Breaks a Curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my wonderful artist, [theartsypumpkin](http://theartsypumpkin.tumblr.com), for the lovely illustration for this chapter! (Go leave a comment for the art [here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4646799))

“Well, it looks like Princess Tilde is out of the question,” said Harry, abruptly changing the subject. “I cannot see how we will get near her again.”

“What are we gonna do now?” asked Eggsy. “We gotta figure out a way to get her to come down here.”

“What's your plan?” asked Harry, fond amusement coloring his voice. “Shout flattery at her out the window until she's wooed by your compliments?”

“'Course not,” Eggsy scoffed. “I may be a poor dumb peasant, but even I know that ain't how you treat a Princess.”

“You are none of those things,” Harry said shortly. “You are--” he abruptly cut off and looked away.

“I'm what?”

“Nothing,” Harry said hastily, eyes darting about. “Nothing.”

For a few moments, the only noise was the sounds of doors clanging and the hum of the workers and Knights in the courtyard outside.

“I was wondering--” Eggsy said suddenly. Harry turned his head back to look at Eggsy. “Nevermind.”

Harry gently rested a webbed foot on Eggsy's wrist. “What is it, Eggsy?”

Eggsy shook his head. “Nothing. Just a stupid idea.”

“Please,” Harry said softly. “Tell me. I wish to hear your thoughts.”

“Y-you do?”

Harry nodded. “Always.”

Eggsy remained silent, hesitating.

Harry rested his other front foot on Eggsy's thumb. “I lo—quite enjoy the way your mind works,” he said. “Please, share your thoughts with me.”

Eggsy swallowed, then looked down at Harry. “I was thinking...” he trailed off, still unable to voice the stupid hope. That silly Wish he would never voice, but could never seem to banish.

“Yes?”

Eggsy took a deep breath and licked his lips. “Maybe,” he began. “Just to _try,_ not like it's gonna work, I mean, I'm no Princess, but might as well try everything, yeah? I was just thinking about what Merlin said, about the solution being the thing you don't consider? So, I was thinking, if you wouldn't mind it--”

“Yes,” Harry interrupted, pressing his front feet down into Eggsy's wrist. “Yes, Eggsy, please kiss me.”

Eggsy gawked down at him. “You _want_ me to kiss you?”

Harry nodded his little green head. “Very much.”

Eggsy gently scooped Harry up and cradled him in his palms. “Okay,” he said. “Because, I mean...and I feel right silly, saying this to a _frog,_ you know, even if you ain't _really_ a frog, but I figured I should say it before--”

“I love you, too,” Harry interrupted again, that froggy smile spreading across his face.

Eggsy gaped down at him. “Y-you do?”

“Foolish darling, of course I do. Now kiss me.”

“What makes you think it'll work?” Eggsy asked.

“True Love's Kiss,” Harry replied firmly. “It breaks any spell. I have no doubt whatsoever that it will work.”

Eggsy felt his heart skip a beat.

“But I knew I had to wait for you to suggest it,” Harry said, noticing Eggsy's hesitation. At Eggsy's continued indecision, Harry huffed and demanded, “for fuck's sake, Eggsy, stop waffling and break my spell.”

Either the order or the vulgarity snapped Eggsy out of whatever reverie he was in, and Eggsy snorted. “As you command, my froggy _lord,_ ” he muttered sarcastically as he brought his cupped palms up to his face and pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s mouth.

** **

As soon as his lips touched the Frog's cool skin, a bright light began to shine around Eggsy's hands. He barely managed to keep himself from dropping Harry, but after a moment, he had to shut his eyes as the light grew too bright for him to stand. Suddenly, the slight weight of Harry's body disappeared, only to be replaced by the feeling of a warm and strong hand wrapping around his fingers. The cool lipless mouth became soft lips, pressing chastely against his own. He slowly pulled back and opened his eyes to see a man standing before him. A tall, regal, handsome man, with warm dark eyes and a gentle smile. The fingers of one large hand were tangled through Eggsy's.

“Harry?” Eggsy asked incredulously, staring up into the true face of the person he'd come to love over the last few days.

“Oh, Eggsy,” the man—Harry—replied, his dark eyes softening even further, lifting Eggsy's fingers to his lips with one hand as he looped his free arm around Eggsy's waist and drew him close. “My dearest love,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Eggsy's temple. “I've waited so long for you. You don't know how happy I am to be able to look on you at last with my own eyes.”

A gasp from behind Eggsy prevented him from replying. He craned his neck to see that all the Knights in the jail had dropped to one knee. “What's going on?” he asked, turning confused eyes to Harry.

“I told you once that you'd know me by another name,” said Harry softly, running his hand up and down Eggsy's spine.

“Yes,” said Eggsy, trying not to shiver at the feeling of Harry's strong, warm hand along his back. “I remember.”

“My name _is_ Harry,” said Harry cautiously. “But you would know me as _Arthur_.”

Eggsy's jaw dropped. “But...” he stammered. “That would make you—”

“The King, yes,” said Harry. He abruptly clutched at Eggsy's elbows as Eggsy began to drop to his own knee. “No,” Harry said. “You are never to kneel to me, Eggsy.”

Eggsy stared up into the face of the man he loved—the face of his _King._

“Your Majesty!” cried one of the Knights—a Kingsman, judging by the pin on his cloak—getting back to his feet and hastily unlocking the cell. “We feared you dead!”

“Yes,” Harry replied, not releasing his grip on Eggsy as he led him out of the jail and into the courtyard. “I know. Sir Chester's doing, no doubt.”

The Kingsman nodded. “He told us he'd received word that you'd been set upon by thieves on the North Road,” he said. “Riders went out looking, brought back your bloodied coat. He said that as the Senior Kingsman and Head of the Council, it was his duty to take over as Acting Ruler until they could figure out who would be your heir. He's taken on your title of Arthur.”

“Oh, he has, has he?” Harry muttered darkly.

“The North Road?” Eggsy blurted. “But he was by my village, which is three days' travel _south_ of here.”

“Didn't want to risk anyone finding me, obviously,” said Harry, running his thumbs soothingly along Eggsy's elbows.

“He'd already had you turned into a frog,” said Eggsy. “Not like they'd know to search the lakes and swamps for a frog that talks like you, yeah? Bit overkill, faking you murdered, innit?”

“Sir Percival,” Harry ordered, his eyes not leaving Eggsy's face. “Inform _Sir Chester_ that I have returned. Not dead, not amphibious. And certainly _not_ in a merciful mood.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” said the Kingsman, bowing and setting off for the palace doors.

“My Kingsmen,” Harry announced, voice carrying across the courtyard, his gaze finally breaking from Eggsy's to look over the Knights gathered within. “Long have you wished for your King to find someone to rule alongside him. I am pleased to announce that I have, at long last, found my True Love, the one person with whom I wish to share my life and my heart. It is my greatest pleasure to introduce to you Eggsy--”

“No, you can't--” Eggsy hissed.

“--Unwin,” Harry finished, ignoring Eggsy. “And if he will have me, I will wed him before you all on the day of his choosing.”

“Harry—Your Majesty,” whispered Eggsy, “I can't! I'm not right--”

Harry cut off his objections by bending his head and pressing his lips to Eggsy's, kissing him deep and true, uncaring that nearly every Kingsman in the Palace was staring at them, as well as more than a few servants who’d been milling around the courtyard. The kiss went on for what felt like forever, and yet not long enough.  “My dear Eggsy,” Harry soothed as the kiss ended, his breath warm against Eggsy's cheek, “you are brave, clever, wise, loyal, and beautiful. You are _exactly_ right.”

“But you're—”

“Proud. Occasionally arrogant. Short-tempered. Stubborn. And terribly, terribly, lonely—that is, until the day you bid a Frog good morrow on a whim.”

Eggsy smiled tremulously up at him. “You sure you want the type of bloke that's fool enough to strike up a conversation with a Frog?”

Harry smiled back. “Only if you want the type of man that's foolish enough to get himself turned into one.”

“We're barmy enough for each other, I guess,” said Eggsy.

“Will you stay with me, my darling?” Harry asked, pressing his forehead to Eggsy's. “At my side, always?”

Eggsy reached up and curled a shaking hand around the back of Harry's neck. “Suppose I should keep close in case you get turned into a frog again,” he murmured. “Break the spell quicker.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Harry teased, kissing the tip of Eggsy's nose. “Clever as always, my dear.”

“Gotta say, love,” said Eggsy, blushing, as he tangled his fingers through the hair at the nape of Harry's neck. “You're a mite more attractive as a human.”

“Thank you,” replied Harry, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You, of course, are as dazzling from this point of view as you always have been.”

“Pardon the interruption, Your Majesty, uh...Mister Unwin,” came the apologetic voice of another Kingsman.

“What is it, Sir Gareth?” Harry asked, reluctantly pulling away from Eggsy but wrapping his long fingers around Eggsy's wrist as though loathe to have Eggsy too far from him.

“Arthur—that is, Sir Chester—refuses to believe that you are who you say. He has ordered your arrest as an imposter.”

Harry's face darkened. “I am not the imposter here,” he said coldly. “Take me to him _immediately.”_

“Yes, Your Majesty,” said Sir Gareth, bowing low. “Follow me.”

Harry released Eggsy's wrist, only to loop Eggsy's arm through his own, resting his other hand gently on top of Eggsy's on his arm. “Come, my love,” he said as he stood straight, chin tilted imperiously. “Let me introduce you to the rest of my Council.”

Eggsy walked alongside Harry in silence, still trying to wrap his mind around the events of the last few days. The Fairy Tale that his life had become! And how his Wish had come true!

Not only had he gone along on an adventure with a man cursed into a talking frog, that man had turned out to be the _King!_

King _Arthur_!

And the spell had been broken by True Love's Kiss!

 _Eggsy's_ kiss!

 _He,_ Eggsy Unwin, penniless nobody from nowhere, was the _True Love_ of the _King._

He could barely breathe for the thought of it.

And now, here he was, walking arm in arm with his King as though he belonged there, by his side. People in the halls bowed to them as they walked by, murmuring their deference to Harry and casting curious glances at Eggsy, who sent them a shy curve of a smile and a slight waggle of his fingers in return.


	7. In Which the Villains are Defeated

Harry led Eggsy into a large open room, full of Ladies and Lords dressed in finery the like that Eggsy had never seen before. All of them were staring, astonished, at Harry, but he didn't spare a glance for any of them. Although his hand was still gentle on Eggsy's, his dark eyes were fixed coldly on the dais at the front of the room, where a distinguished-looking older gentleman whose hair was white and wispy as a cloud, sat on the throne, draped in rich dark red robes.

Standing at his right hand was a dark-skinned man in the same blue robes Merlin had been wearing, although this Wizard's robes were of a much more expensive-looking fabric and were trimmed with a purple fabric that glinted in the lamplight. Around his neck was a gold chain with the King's sigil hanging from the end. Eggsy knew he was looking at the Council Wizard, Valentine, who had served the King— _Harry--_ Eggsy still couldn't quite wrap his head around that—for many years (until he'd turned his King into a frog).  Even in his little village, far from the Palace’s notice, Eggsy had heard stories about Valentine and his powers, and Eggsy was a bit apprehensive of the man who wielded such Magic.

Next to Valentine stood a young woman, dressed in the same black robes Roxy wore, although hers were trimmed with the same shining purple as Valentine's. She was tall and unsmiling, and her long hair was as dark as her robes and hung freely around her face.  Valentine’s Apprentice, Gazelle, Eggsy presumed, and he remembered that Harry had mentioned that she was probably as powerful as her Master.

Eggsy suddenly felt very small and unimportant.

“Sir Chester.” Harry's voice echoed around the throne room.

Sir Chester slowly rose from his seat, his robes swishing as he stood. “And who do you think _you_ are?” he said, his voice as cold as his flinty eyes.

“I am your King,” Harry replied, and it seemed to Eggsy that he stood taller as he spoke.

“That's impossible,” Valentine declared. “The King is dead.”

“Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated,” Harry replied. “Your plan to overthrow me did not work.”

“Your Glamor is very good,” Sir Chester said. His posture seemed completely unruffled, but his eyes were uneasy as he looked at the other man. “But we found our King dead, so you cannot be he.”

“Your Transformation spell was excellent, Valentine,” Harry shot back, not taking his eyes from the man standing on the dais. “Unfortunately for you, I undid it.”

“That's impossible,” Valentine blurted.

“Shut _up,”_ Gazelle hissed, and the Wizard muttered something that sounded like, “Sorry, Gazzy.”

“Impossible?” Harry echoed, tearing his flinty gaze from Sir Chester and turning it onto the Wizard. “And what, pray tell, made it such an impossible spell to break?”

The Wizard pursed his lips and shook his head.

“As you are aware,” Harry said, looking out over the Lords and Ladies, who were watching the proceedings with interest, “it has been a great concern for my Council and my subjects that I have remained unmarried all these years. It is, of course, not for lack of opportunity, as I have been offered the hands of what seems like every person in every known kingdom at one time or another. However, what my Council does _not_ know is that many years ago, as a young man, I visited a Wizard and made a Wish.”

Valentine's eyebrows shot up and Sir Chester's sneer fell slightly.

“With all the impulsive romanticism of youth,” Harry continued, “I Wished that I would grow up to marry my True Love, which the Wizard assured me would be Granted.”

The people gathered in the throne room began to murmur among themselves at this pronouncement. A few of them looked at Eggsy with greater interest, including one he recognized as Princess Tilde, who gave Eggsy what he was fairly sure was a leering once-over before winking cheekily at him, and he couldn’t help winking back, even as he unconsciously leaned a little closer to Harry.

Harry's grip tightened on Eggsy's hand, pressing it into Harry's elbow. “The Wizard told me that I would have to wait many years for this person, but that they would arrive, if I was patient. So I waited, and refused to wed, because I did not want to marry any but the True Love I Wished for.”

The three people standing at the front of the room began to look more uncomfortable.

“As you know, Sir Chester,” Harry said, his gaze boring holes into the man whom he'd once called friend, “True Love's Kiss breaks _any_ spell.”

Sir Chester scoffed. “Do you _honestly_ expect me to believe _that--”_ he pointed derisively at Eggsy “--is your _True Love?”_

Harry clenched his jaw and his eyes darkened. “Be careful, sir,” he said coldly. “You are speaking of my future Prince Consort, and I do not take kindly to those who malign him.”

Valentine looked back and forth between the King and the man seated on the throne as the crowd’s murmurs grew louder. The Wizard took a deep breath and swept up to Harry, his robes swirling around him. “Forgive me, my King,” he cried, raising his voice so as to be heard throughout the room. “I was forced to do it.”

“Oh, _shut up,_ Valentine, _”_ Sir Chester sneered as he stood, pulling his rich robes around him. He jutted out his chin and looked down at Harry and Eggsy. “I do not know what you think you are doing, sir, but the _real_ King, rest his soul, would certainly have a more worthy True Love than a ragged peasant.”

“Oi,” Eggsy protested. “I ain’t _ragged._ We’ve been traveling for three days straight. I’d like to see _you_ looking fresh when you’re straight off a three day journey.”

Harry’s eyes got impossibly darker as his entire posture grew stiff and cold. Eggsy snuck a glance up at him and hesitantly squeezed the elbow beneath his hand, and Harry looked down to meet his gaze, his eyes and posture warming momentarily as the corners of his mouth twitched into a flicker of a smile before he returned his eyes to the man standing before the throne.

“You know,” a voice piped up from behind them, and Eggsy looked around to see Princess Tilde standing between Roxy and the Kingsman Harry had addressed as Percival. “You _could_ just Verify his identity rather than stand here going over this Yes-I-Am-No-You’re-Not conversation over and over again.”

“Wonderful thought, Your Highness,” said Sir Percival, before turning his gaze to Sir Chester. “If Wizard Valentine finds himself unable to perform the spell, I’m sure my niece Roxanne is more than capable.”

“I can do it,” Valentine said stubbornly, his pride bruised. He pushed one loose sleeve up past his elbow ineffectively. The sleeve drooped back down his arm as he reached into a hidden pocket in the seam of his robe and retrieved a small pouch. He dipped three fingers into the small bag and pulled out a large pinch of a fine white powder that glistened in the light. He held it up in front of Harry’s face and blew gently on it, causing the powder to land on Harry’s cheeks and nose. Valentine then placed his hands along Harry’s cheekbones and murmured something under his breath, too quietly for Eggsy to hear.

The powder on Harry’s face glowed for a moment, then faded, as though it had never been there.

Valentine turned towards the dais. “It’s him,” Valentine said, and Eggsy bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as the old man and the Apprentice gave the Wizard matching glares. The people of the Court murmured amongst themselves, and some sent angry looks at Sir Chester.

“Of _course_ it’s him,” the Apprentice hissed. “Don’t be an idiot.”

Valentine glared back at her. “Don’t give me that lip, Gazzy,” he snapped. “I’m still your Master.”

Gazelle raised one thin eyebrow and smirked. “For now,” she said carelessly.

“What you are is _useless,_ Valentine, _”_ snarled Sir Chester, now that his deception was revealed. “First, you cast a spell--which you promised me was unbreakable--”

“How was I supposed to know he’d find his True Love?” Valentine protested. “You asked me to make it not able to be broken by a Princess’s kiss, which I did. I’m a Wizard, not a _god_.”

“You _sent him_ to his True Love!” Sir Chester shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I _told_ you to _hide him away._ ”

“I put him in a pond!” Valentine shot back. “Where frogs _belong._ No one was supposed to think he was any different than any other frog in the damn pond. _”_

“As enlightening as this is,” Harry interjected, “I, for one, don’t quite care to hear it at the moment.” He gestured to the Kingsmen standing in the room, who came forward to grab the three traitors. Valentine tried to reach inside his robes for one of his Magical items, but the Knights drew their swords and he subsided, scowling, and shot a look at Gazelle, who nodded almost imperceptibly at him.

Unlike her Master, Gazelle succeeded in retrieving a small glass orb about the size of her fist, and she muttered something under her breath, which caused the orb to begin glowing with a sinister red light, before throwing the orb towards the Kingsmen standing near Harry.  Eggsy used his grip on Harry’s elbow to jerk the King out of the line of fire, even as Roxy darted forward, hissing something in a language Eggsy didn’t recognize as she reached for the orb. When her fingers landed on the small ball, the red light was snuffed out, and Roxy smirked at the other Apprentice before tucking the now-harmless ball into her robes.

“Nice try,” said Roxy. “Good work, adapting the spells--compressing them into an easily transportable container? That was pretty clever.”

“Shut up,” Gazelle hissed.

Harry gestured to the Kingsmen, who stepped forward to clasp their hands around Gazelle’s arms and began to lead her, and her two compatriots, out of the throne room.

“Tell me,” Harry called after the group. “Why did you do it? You were two of my most trusted advisers.”

“You have so much power,” Sir Chester said, shaking his head as though disappointed in the King. “So much power, and you barely even _use_ it. What a _waste._ ”

Harry’s eyebrows rose. “Use it?” he echoed. “For what? We currently have peace with all our neighbors. Surely you did not intend to go to war with our allies.”

Sir Chester’s chin rose haughtily. “What is peace but a cessation of hostility?” he spat.

“We have might and we have Magic,” Valentine added. “You could have easily doubled the size of the kingdom if you would just have the courage to do it.”

“There is no courage in betrayal,” Harry declared. “It would not have been an act of bravery for me to take advantage of the trust of our neighbors, and your treatment of me does none of you credit.” He waved his hands at the Kingsmen holding the three prisoners. “Take them away,” he ordered, his voice even.

Sir Chester struggled in their hold. “You can’t do this to me!” he shouted. “You know who I am! The noblest blood in the kingdom runs through my veins!”

“And _you_ know who _I_ am, and yet look how you have acted towards me,” Harry answered. “You wish for me to use my power, Chester? Very well, then.” He looked out over the gathered crowd. “According to the power granted to me as King, I strip you of your titles and lands, forthwith and forevermore.”  He looked over at Valentine and Gazelle. “You two, as well,” he added. “And all three of you will be taken to prison, where you will live out the rest of your lives, no doubt thanking me daily for my mercy in not having you put to death for your treachery.”

The crowd murmured amongst themselves as the three were taken away; Chester snarling and spitting out promises of retribution, Valentine looking thoughtfully down at his shoes, and Gazelle walking with her head held high and her expression cold and blank as ice.

Eggsy and Harry stood silently side-by-side as they watched the three carted off to their fates.

The excitement over, the Lords and Ladies turned to face their King, eager to see what he would do next, now that he had returned to his rightful place. The room was silent, as though everyone in it held their breath. Harry, his arm still liked with Eggsy’s, walked up the short steps to the dais and stood before his throne. A Kingsman Eggsy recognized as Sir Gawain, the one he’d seen speaking with Princess Tilde at the gate (how long ago that seemed, although it hadn’t been more than an hour or two since they’d stood outside the Palace walls) strode through the throne room, his steps loud and echoing in the otherwise quiet room, and stopped before Harry, wordlessly holding up a golden crown.

Harry stared down at it for a moment, then reached down and took the crown from Gawain, placing it atop his own dark hair. The Lords and Ladies clapped politely and smiled at their King, which Eggsy privately thought was a rather subdued reaction for a group of people who were supposed to be ecstatic that their King had returned. But then again, they _were_ nobility, he told himself. Maybe this _was_ enthusiasm for them. With a mental shrug, he turned to his True Love.

“Now that’s over, what’s next on your kingly agenda?” Eggsy teased, lifting up onto his toes a bit so he could murmur it in Harry’s ear.

Harry turned to face him, smiling down into his eyes. “I do recall a deal we made,” he said with mock solemnity, his dark eyes warm. “For once I had taken care of those who had done this to me.”

Eggsy’s brow furrowed thoughtfully. “I don’t--”

Harry’s smile widened. “You promised to treat me to some ale,” he said. “I do feel that this is quite the appropriate moment for a celebratory pint.”

Eggsy laughed, and Harry wrapped an arm around Eggsy and leaned down to kiss him. Eggsy finally got the enthusiastic reaction from the crowd he’d been looking for--not that he bothered to notice. He was far too busy kissing Harry back to care.


	8. Epilogue

The whole Kingdom was eager to celebrate the long-awaited marriage of their King, and although they were certainly surprised that their King’s chosen Prince Consort was not only the commonest of commoners but also much younger than their King, it could not be denied that he was quite handsome and charming (as all Princes should be), and that he and their King loved each other most ardently (as all True Loves do).  In addition, he had saved their beloved King from a terrible Curse, and what better Prince Consort could they ask for than one who had already proven his worth? Indeed, they said to one another, Fate has chosen for our King a most suitable Spouse, and how clever our King was to Wish for him.

But then, they’d add, nodding sagely to each other, our King is _always_ clever.

(The Wizard who had Heard the King’s Wish all those years ago--who was by now a very old Wizard, indeed—upon hearing the news of the King’s impending marriage, simply sat back on his porch and smoked his pipe and smiled to himself with great satisfaction in a Wish well Granted.)

(Princess Tilde, who’d been invited to the Palace under false pretenses--Sir Chester had planned to kidnap her in an attempt to declare war on her country, was momentarily disappointed that she _wasn’t_ there in order to ally in marriage with the _real_ King, as he _was_ quite handsome; although she comforted herself with the pleasant thought that the King and his True Love would certainly _enjoy_ each other more than she and the King would have...upon which point she was caught up in musings about the handsome King and his rather attractive Love _enjoying_ each other, and with such musings she entertained herself until she returned home to her own lands, and her own lovers.)

The only impediment to the new Prince Consort’s happiness was the well-being of his beloved mother and sister, still in the power of his brutish stepfather. When he mentioned this to his husband-to-be, the King merely smiled at him and told him to bring them to live in the Palace, as the King’s own happiness could not be complete until his True Love’s was.

And so the Prince Consort-to-be went home to fetch his mother and sister and bring them back to the Palace with him. His mother was very surprised indeed, as you may imagine, when her son came back to her, bearing not only his promised gift, but a whole party of attendants, including Kingsmen, servants, and a nursemaid for the baby, along with a tale that started with a Talking Frog and ended with the unbelievable news that she was to become the King’s own mother by marriage--the man her own husband had died to protect was now to become the husband of her son--that, indeed, this man was her son’s _True Love_. She smiled to herself even as she felt a bittersweet pang at the thought of how her dear Lee would have laughed at hearing this news.

The baby was just happy to see her brother, particularly once she’d been handed the stuffed bear he’d brought her, which, he promised, was only one of many awaiting her back at the Palace. She won the hearts of all the attendants (for the future Prince Consort had not been exaggerating--well, not _too_ much--when he’d bragged about her to the King), and by the time they returned to the Palace, there was talk among the group on how to convince the King to declare the darling child as his heir.

(The stepfather was, to put it lightly, quite unhappy with this particular turn of events, and spoke to his stepson in a manner most uncouth. However, he was not a _complete_ fool—the young man may be his stepson, but he was also the future husband of the King, after all—and he refrained from any sort of physical altercation, simply watching with silent hate in his eyes as his wife and daughter were carted off to live a life of luxury in the King’s Palace, while he was left alone in the small house.)

And so, his family restored to him (and safely out of the clutches of his stepfather), the King’s True Love declared his readiness to wed and a date was set; the whole Kingdom was invited to take part in the wedding festivities, which lasted an entire week (most of which, the Prince Consort would later confide to the new Court Wizard’s Apprentice, he did not recall with the greatest of clarity, as the wine served at the Wedding Feast had been a _particularly_ fine vintage). The people of the Kingdom were satisfied in the happiness of their King, and those few who had dared to grumble about the Prince Consort prior to the wedding were silenced by the obvious joy shining in the eyes of both the King and his new Husband.

The first thing the King did once his kingdom and True Love were secured to him was to appoint a new Court Wizard. He, of course, chose a Wizard he knew to be loyal, and offered the position to Merlin, who accepted on the condition that he be allowed to consult from his cottage and only need come to the Palace when his advice _must_ be offered in person, as Merlin detested both the Capital and the people of the Court.  Many a letter was sent from Palace to cottage, and although both the King and his Husband invited the Wizard to come to Court, the Wizard held to the King’s promise and came to the Palace only rarely, and quite begrudgingly when he did, to the point where most of the Court was glad to see him go when he returned to his home (of course, they were smart enough to not say anything to the Wizard’s face--it is not wise to insult a Wizard, after all.)

The position of Knight, which had been denied to her previously, was offered to Roxanne, who hesitated until the Prince Consort informed her that she would, of course, be made a Kingsman and assigned to protect the Wizard, at which point she promptly accepted. She performed her duties as the Kingsman Sir Lancelot when they were at the Palace, and learned the ways of Magic from him as his Apprentice when they were not, and was as content with her lot in life as she could have ever hoped to be.

  
And so, as is the usual happening in a tale such as this, they all lived happily ever after.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs (Or Maybe Just One) (Illustration)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4646799) by [theartsypumpkin (Kuroaloeart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroaloeart/pseuds/theartsypumpkin)




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